This past Saturday I went to a man-spa for a haircut.
Man-spa is not its real name, its real name is a French word that I cannot pronounce with funny symbols above specific letters in its name. I have been to this man-spa before for other types of man-spa treatments but I am no longer secure enough in my manliness to have these other treatments done to me in a public place whose name I cannot enunciate.
Sitting in the man-spa is a very manly experience for the man who wishes to feel pretty. They offer you lattés, cappuccinos and water that comes in oddly shaped bottles that look expensive. The waiting room smells of musk and leather, I think it might be burning candles. The magazine collection is a mixture of sports, cars, and man-style fashion magazines; think Vanity Fair for men. Vanity Fair is a magazine that men and women can both read, right? Nonetheless I pick up a copy of Esquire magazine and read an article about how Robert Downy Jr. is the second best actor in America. Never did find out who number one was.
The receptionist tells me that my stylist, Jess, will be right out. Jess? An androgynous, transgendered name…that always makes me uncomfortable. Not that I care if a man or woman cuts my hair; its the not knowing of who will walk around the corner to meet me. Ok Jess is a girl, a good-looking non-confusing gender of a woman. Don’t judge me, its a man-spa, I am here for the experience.
I explain the haircut that I want to Jess. It’s a mixture of Buddhist monk meets Brad Pitt haircut in Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Jess calls it a buzz cut and places a number four guard on her clippers and within ten minutes I can see the white dome of my skull.
Next, the man-spa treatments that I am secure enough to treat myself to--scalp message with a hot towel wrapped around my face. The next three minutes with Jess are blissful.
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Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts
Man-Spa
This past Saturday I went to a man-spa for a haircut.
Man-spa is not its real name, its real name is a French word that I cannot pronounce with funny symbols above specific letters in its name. I have been to this man-spa before for other types of man-spa treatments but I am no longer secure enough in my manliness to have these other treatments done to me in a public place whose name I cannot enunciate.
Sitting in the man-spa is a very manly experience for the man who wishes to feel pretty. They offer you lattés, cappuccinos and water that comes in oddly shaped bottles that look expensive. The waiting room smells of musk and leather, I think it might be burning candles. The magazine collection is a mixture of sports, cars, and man-style fashion magazines; think Vanity Fair for men. Vanity Fair is a magazine that men and women can both read, right? Nonetheless I pick up a copy of Esquire magazine and read an article about how Robert Downy Jr. is the second best actor in America. Never did find out who number one was.
The receptionist tells me that my stylist, Jess, will be right out. Jess? An androgynous, transgendered name…that always makes me uncomfortable. Not that I care if a man or woman cuts my hair; its the not knowing of who will walk around the corner to meet me. Ok Jess is a girl, a good-looking non-confusing gender of a woman. Don’t judge me, its a man-spa, I am here for the experience.
I explain the haircut that I want to Jess. It’s a mixture of Buddhist monk meets Brad Pitt haircut in Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Jess calls it a buzz cut and places a number four guard on her clippers and within ten minutes I can see the white dome of my skull.
Next, the man-spa treatments that I am secure enough to treat myself to--scalp message with a hot towel wrapped around my face. The next three minutes with Jess are blissful.
Man-spa is not its real name, its real name is a French word that I cannot pronounce with funny symbols above specific letters in its name. I have been to this man-spa before for other types of man-spa treatments but I am no longer secure enough in my manliness to have these other treatments done to me in a public place whose name I cannot enunciate.
Sitting in the man-spa is a very manly experience for the man who wishes to feel pretty. They offer you lattés, cappuccinos and water that comes in oddly shaped bottles that look expensive. The waiting room smells of musk and leather, I think it might be burning candles. The magazine collection is a mixture of sports, cars, and man-style fashion magazines; think Vanity Fair for men. Vanity Fair is a magazine that men and women can both read, right? Nonetheless I pick up a copy of Esquire magazine and read an article about how Robert Downy Jr. is the second best actor in America. Never did find out who number one was.
The receptionist tells me that my stylist, Jess, will be right out. Jess? An androgynous, transgendered name…that always makes me uncomfortable. Not that I care if a man or woman cuts my hair; its the not knowing of who will walk around the corner to meet me. Ok Jess is a girl, a good-looking non-confusing gender of a woman. Don’t judge me, its a man-spa, I am here for the experience.
I explain the haircut that I want to Jess. It’s a mixture of Buddhist monk meets Brad Pitt haircut in Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Jess calls it a buzz cut and places a number four guard on her clippers and within ten minutes I can see the white dome of my skull.
Next, the man-spa treatments that I am secure enough to treat myself to--scalp message with a hot towel wrapped around my face. The next three minutes with Jess are blissful.
Coffee Shop
Yesterday I was waiting in a coffee shop for a photographer friend of mine. You probably think that I am the type of person who would spend time in coffee shops. I am not but I should…
Top 5 reasons why I do fit the “coffee shop” stereotype:
1) I drink coffee.
2) I like to write in public places to steal ideas.
3) I have that scruffy-beard-artist-look-thing going for me.
4) Reading books in public places makes me feel cool. Got to feed the ego.
5) I like listening to music by white men with sad lyrics while playing acoustic guitar.
Top 5 Conversations overheard in a coffee shop:
1) Two stripper Moms trying to decide on daycare for their daughters
2) 80 year old man searching for his birth parents
3) Why fried bologna sandwiches are the best; seriously this was a great conversation to eavesdrop on.
4) Anything about religion, especially why other religions are wrong.
5) Isn’t John Craig extremely good looking?
Top 5 reasons why I do fit the “coffee shop” stereotype:
1) I drink coffee.
2) I like to write in public places to steal ideas.
3) I have that scruffy-beard-artist-look-thing going for me.
4) Reading books in public places makes me feel cool. Got to feed the ego.
5) I like listening to music by white men with sad lyrics while playing acoustic guitar.
Top 5 Conversations overheard in a coffee shop:
1) Two stripper Moms trying to decide on daycare for their daughters
2) 80 year old man searching for his birth parents
3) Why fried bologna sandwiches are the best; seriously this was a great conversation to eavesdrop on.
4) Anything about religion, especially why other religions are wrong.
5) Isn’t John Craig extremely good looking?
Coffee Shop
Yesterday I was waiting in a coffee shop for a photographer friend of mine. You probably think that I am the type of person who would spend time in coffee shops. I am not but I should…
Top 5 reasons why I do fit the “coffee shop” stereotype:
1) I drink coffee.
2) I like to write in public places to steal ideas.
3) I have that scruffy-beard-artist-look-thing going for me.
4) Reading books in public places makes me feel cool. Got to feed the ego.
5) I like listening to music by white men with sad lyrics while playing acoustic guitar.
Top 5 Conversations overheard in a coffee shop:
1) Two stripper Moms trying to decide on daycare for their daughters
2) 80 year old man searching for his birth parents
3) Why fried bologna sandwiches are the best; seriously this was a great conversation to eavesdrop on.
4) Anything about religion, especially why other religions are wrong.
5) Isn’t John Craig extremely good looking?
Top 5 reasons why I do fit the “coffee shop” stereotype:
1) I drink coffee.
2) I like to write in public places to steal ideas.
3) I have that scruffy-beard-artist-look-thing going for me.
4) Reading books in public places makes me feel cool. Got to feed the ego.
5) I like listening to music by white men with sad lyrics while playing acoustic guitar.
Top 5 Conversations overheard in a coffee shop:
1) Two stripper Moms trying to decide on daycare for their daughters
2) 80 year old man searching for his birth parents
3) Why fried bologna sandwiches are the best; seriously this was a great conversation to eavesdrop on.
4) Anything about religion, especially why other religions are wrong.
5) Isn’t John Craig extremely good looking?
4am & a Thought
Woke up early, again, very early 4am. Coffee is extra good at 4am and the computer screen is bright at 4am, painfully bright.
Been thinking about getting a hand grinder for coffee beans. There is something about brewing a cup of coffee that appeals to me.
Finished reading “Change By Design” by Tim Brown last night. The book ended with a quote by Tom Kelly that has sparked a thought in me.
“Innovation begins with an eye.” ~ that is the photographers job; to create something new and different. A photograph starts with a thought.
For 17 years I have been working in photography and in that time I have never felt like an inclusive photographer. I am not techie, nor do I subscribe to any photo magazines and have no interest in the latest gear. For me, my passion and effort has been pulled towards the compositional aspects of art. I think of myself as “I create therefore I am”, type of artist….my ego just exploded, sorry for the mess.
Nature. I am drawn to nature as a teacher of the arts. I figure that nature has a 4.5 billion-year headstart; maybe there is something that nature can teach me.
This is my compositional process: read books and go for walks in the woods, feel philosophical about myself…good thing egos are self-regenerating; I am on my third one today. Is this the correct process for photographers? No idea but it is the correct process for me.
Working on a post for next week: “Slow Photography Movement”. Raining outside, going to read a book by the fire.
Been thinking about getting a hand grinder for coffee beans. There is something about brewing a cup of coffee that appeals to me.
Finished reading “Change By Design” by Tim Brown last night. The book ended with a quote by Tom Kelly that has sparked a thought in me.
“Innovation begins with an eye.” ~ that is the photographers job; to create something new and different. A photograph starts with a thought.
For 17 years I have been working in photography and in that time I have never felt like an inclusive photographer. I am not techie, nor do I subscribe to any photo magazines and have no interest in the latest gear. For me, my passion and effort has been pulled towards the compositional aspects of art. I think of myself as “I create therefore I am”, type of artist….my ego just exploded, sorry for the mess.
Nature. I am drawn to nature as a teacher of the arts. I figure that nature has a 4.5 billion-year headstart; maybe there is something that nature can teach me.
This is my compositional process: read books and go for walks in the woods, feel philosophical about myself…good thing egos are self-regenerating; I am on my third one today. Is this the correct process for photographers? No idea but it is the correct process for me.
Working on a post for next week: “Slow Photography Movement”. Raining outside, going to read a book by the fire.
4am & a Thought
Woke up early, again, very early 4am. Coffee is extra good at 4am and the computer screen is bright at 4am, painfully bright.
Been thinking about getting a hand grinder for coffee beans. There is something about brewing a cup of coffee that appeals to me.
Finished reading “Change By Design” by Tim Brown last night. The book ended with a quote by Tom Kelly that has sparked a thought in me.
“Innovation begins with an eye.” ~ that is the photographers job; to create something new and different. A photograph starts with a thought.
For 17 years I have been working in photography and in that time I have never felt like an inclusive photographer. I am not techie, nor do I subscribe to any photo magazines and have no interest in the latest gear. For me, my passion and effort has been pulled towards the compositional aspects of art. I think of myself as “I create therefore I am”, type of artist….my ego just exploded, sorry for the mess.
Nature. I am drawn to nature as a teacher of the arts. I figure that nature has a 4.5 billion-year headstart; maybe there is something that nature can teach me.
This is my compositional process: read books and go for walks in the woods, feel philosophical about myself…good thing egos are self-regenerating; I am on my third one today. Is this the correct process for photographers? No idea but it is the correct process for me.
Working on a post for next week: “Slow Photography Movement”. Raining outside, going to read a book by the fire.
Been thinking about getting a hand grinder for coffee beans. There is something about brewing a cup of coffee that appeals to me.
Finished reading “Change By Design” by Tim Brown last night. The book ended with a quote by Tom Kelly that has sparked a thought in me.
“Innovation begins with an eye.” ~ that is the photographers job; to create something new and different. A photograph starts with a thought.
For 17 years I have been working in photography and in that time I have never felt like an inclusive photographer. I am not techie, nor do I subscribe to any photo magazines and have no interest in the latest gear. For me, my passion and effort has been pulled towards the compositional aspects of art. I think of myself as “I create therefore I am”, type of artist….my ego just exploded, sorry for the mess.
Nature. I am drawn to nature as a teacher of the arts. I figure that nature has a 4.5 billion-year headstart; maybe there is something that nature can teach me.
This is my compositional process: read books and go for walks in the woods, feel philosophical about myself…good thing egos are self-regenerating; I am on my third one today. Is this the correct process for photographers? No idea but it is the correct process for me.
Working on a post for next week: “Slow Photography Movement”. Raining outside, going to read a book by the fire.
Rant ~
To the Healthcare Protesters ~ shame, shame, shame on you…
What if healthcare was more like car insurance; 3 strikes and your out?
Let me use Rush Limp-ba as the chubby punching bag example:
Rush is fat: So Rush goes to the doctor to get heart medicine. The doctor tells him to take a pill a day, eat better and exercise.
Six months later the fatter Rush goes back to the doctor. The doctor tells him that he needs a stronger medicine (strike one).
A year passes and the Fat-R needs minor bypass surgery because he’s so overweight and doesn’t exercise. (strike two).
Recovering from surgery Fat-R discovers that he has a big appetite for prescription pain pills. He ends up in rich-man rehab, six weeks off from work while smoking cigars (strike three).
Let’s stop the abuse of healthcare with people who already have healthcare insurance. That would be the bulk of the protesters.
If a person does not care about improving their health why insure it?
If I get into three car accidents my insurance company will drop me faster that Fat-R can eat his way through a box of donuts.
I will pay more taxes ~ I want people to live ~ I care about universal health for our citizens.
If one person tells me that “sometimes people must die for capitalism to run true” I will punch you.
What if healthcare was more like car insurance; 3 strikes and your out?
Let me use Rush Limp-ba as the chubby punching bag example:
Rush is fat: So Rush goes to the doctor to get heart medicine. The doctor tells him to take a pill a day, eat better and exercise.
Six months later the fatter Rush goes back to the doctor. The doctor tells him that he needs a stronger medicine (strike one).
A year passes and the Fat-R needs minor bypass surgery because he’s so overweight and doesn’t exercise. (strike two).
Recovering from surgery Fat-R discovers that he has a big appetite for prescription pain pills. He ends up in rich-man rehab, six weeks off from work while smoking cigars (strike three).
Let’s stop the abuse of healthcare with people who already have healthcare insurance. That would be the bulk of the protesters.
If a person does not care about improving their health why insure it?
If I get into three car accidents my insurance company will drop me faster that Fat-R can eat his way through a box of donuts.
I will pay more taxes ~ I want people to live ~ I care about universal health for our citizens.
If one person tells me that “sometimes people must die for capitalism to run true” I will punch you.
Rant ~
To the Healthcare Protesters ~ shame, shame, shame on you…
What if healthcare was more like car insurance; 3 strikes and your out?
Let me use Rush Limp-ba as the chubby punching bag example:
Rush is fat: So Rush goes to the doctor to get heart medicine. The doctor tells him to take a pill a day, eat better and exercise.
Six months later the fatter Rush goes back to the doctor. The doctor tells him that he needs a stronger medicine (strike one).
A year passes and the Fat-R needs minor bypass surgery because he’s so overweight and doesn’t exercise. (strike two).
Recovering from surgery Fat-R discovers that he has a big appetite for prescription pain pills. He ends up in rich-man rehab, six weeks off from work while smoking cigars (strike three).
Let’s stop the abuse of healthcare with people who already have healthcare insurance. That would be the bulk of the protesters.
If a person does not care about improving their health why insure it?
If I get into three car accidents my insurance company will drop me faster that Fat-R can eat his way through a box of donuts.
I will pay more taxes ~ I want people to live ~ I care about universal health for our citizens.
If one person tells me that “sometimes people must die for capitalism to run true” I will punch you.
What if healthcare was more like car insurance; 3 strikes and your out?
Let me use Rush Limp-ba as the chubby punching bag example:
Rush is fat: So Rush goes to the doctor to get heart medicine. The doctor tells him to take a pill a day, eat better and exercise.
Six months later the fatter Rush goes back to the doctor. The doctor tells him that he needs a stronger medicine (strike one).
A year passes and the Fat-R needs minor bypass surgery because he’s so overweight and doesn’t exercise. (strike two).
Recovering from surgery Fat-R discovers that he has a big appetite for prescription pain pills. He ends up in rich-man rehab, six weeks off from work while smoking cigars (strike three).
Let’s stop the abuse of healthcare with people who already have healthcare insurance. That would be the bulk of the protesters.
If a person does not care about improving their health why insure it?
If I get into three car accidents my insurance company will drop me faster that Fat-R can eat his way through a box of donuts.
I will pay more taxes ~ I want people to live ~ I care about universal health for our citizens.
If one person tells me that “sometimes people must die for capitalism to run true” I will punch you.
Rant
Things that have been on my nerves lately- Socialism…I am so tired of hearing everybody talk about the fear of being ruled by a socialist government. The bulk of our tax dollars are spent on defense…defense of keeping society safe. I like being safe. I like that I never had to fight in war. I like that I do not feel the threat of being attacked by a foreign land. Although I do not trust Australians, to quiet of a nation, watch your back.
I do not care about Socialism…because we already are, and have been, a socialist-run nation for the past fifty years…at least. We are a socialist nation who spends our collective tax dollars on going to war or preventing war or perpetuating the idea of somebody going to war. War makes people rich…ask Dick Cheney.
Dick Cheney…a man who has made his fortune in the private sector running companies who’s profits are derived from the United States being in war. No war, no profits. Now can you understand why Dick is on TV selling national security to us? He is trying to stay in business. For the past eight years he has been a media-ghost of the vice presidency. No need to talk when profits are bombing (no I did not mean booming).
People hate the term socialist and they hate the idea of government-run business. I get that I am a business man. I do not want the government telling me what and who to photograph. I hate the capitalistic business of war. I hate war. I hate that my tax dollars help to make Dick Cheney richer.
Here is the part where this rant develops into a dream…stop going to war. If we stop going to war every other decade and keep the tax structure the way it currently is we could have healthcare and education for all. That’s right. Our government tax structure could remain in tact. If taxes do not go up I bet you people will not care how our government is labeled.
I like capitalism especially when people with capital care about society.
p.s. – The opening sentence in the constitution is “We the people”, it is not I the person. I hope that those of you who wish to criticize this rant do so. Please refrain from quoting Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity or Glen Beck; they are entertainers not journalists, nor academics. They claim to be good Americans yet they do not claim to be good human beings.
p.s.s – If you really hate socialism what you can do as an individual is refuse social security and Medicare when you retire. I bet the drug addicted, heart patient Limbaugh will accept that gift from government.
I do not care about Socialism…because we already are, and have been, a socialist-run nation for the past fifty years…at least. We are a socialist nation who spends our collective tax dollars on going to war or preventing war or perpetuating the idea of somebody going to war. War makes people rich…ask Dick Cheney.
Dick Cheney…a man who has made his fortune in the private sector running companies who’s profits are derived from the United States being in war. No war, no profits. Now can you understand why Dick is on TV selling national security to us? He is trying to stay in business. For the past eight years he has been a media-ghost of the vice presidency. No need to talk when profits are bombing (no I did not mean booming).
People hate the term socialist and they hate the idea of government-run business. I get that I am a business man. I do not want the government telling me what and who to photograph. I hate the capitalistic business of war. I hate war. I hate that my tax dollars help to make Dick Cheney richer.
Here is the part where this rant develops into a dream…stop going to war. If we stop going to war every other decade and keep the tax structure the way it currently is we could have healthcare and education for all. That’s right. Our government tax structure could remain in tact. If taxes do not go up I bet you people will not care how our government is labeled.
I like capitalism especially when people with capital care about society.
p.s. – The opening sentence in the constitution is “We the people”, it is not I the person. I hope that those of you who wish to criticize this rant do so. Please refrain from quoting Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity or Glen Beck; they are entertainers not journalists, nor academics. They claim to be good Americans yet they do not claim to be good human beings.
p.s.s – If you really hate socialism what you can do as an individual is refuse social security and Medicare when you retire. I bet the drug addicted, heart patient Limbaugh will accept that gift from government.
Rant
Things that have been on my nerves lately- Socialism…I am so tired of hearing everybody talk about the fear of being ruled by a socialist government. The bulk of our tax dollars are spent on defense…defense of keeping society safe. I like being safe. I like that I never had to fight in war. I like that I do not feel the threat of being attacked by a foreign land. Although I do not trust Australians, to quiet of a nation, watch your back.
I do not care about Socialism…because we already are, and have been, a socialist-run nation for the past fifty years…at least. We are a socialist nation who spends our collective tax dollars on going to war or preventing war or perpetuating the idea of somebody going to war. War makes people rich…ask Dick Cheney.
Dick Cheney…a man who has made his fortune in the private sector running companies who’s profits are derived from the United States being in war. No war, no profits. Now can you understand why Dick is on TV selling national security to us? He is trying to stay in business. For the past eight years he has been a media-ghost of the vice presidency. No need to talk when profits are bombing (no I did not mean booming).
People hate the term socialist and they hate the idea of government-run business. I get that I am a business man. I do not want the government telling me what and who to photograph. I hate the capitalistic business of war. I hate war. I hate that my tax dollars help to make Dick Cheney richer.
Here is the part where this rant develops into a dream…stop going to war. If we stop going to war every other decade and keep the tax structure the way it currently is we could have healthcare and education for all. That’s right. Our government tax structure could remain in tact. If taxes do not go up I bet you people will not care how our government is labeled.
I like capitalism especially when people with capital care about society.
p.s. – The opening sentence in the constitution is “We the people”, it is not I the person. I hope that those of you who wish to criticize this rant do so. Please refrain from quoting Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity or Glen Beck; they are entertainers not journalists, nor academics. They claim to be good Americans yet they do not claim to be good human beings.
p.s.s – If you really hate socialism what you can do as an individual is refuse social security and Medicare when you retire. I bet the drug addicted, heart patient Limbaugh will accept that gift from government.
I do not care about Socialism…because we already are, and have been, a socialist-run nation for the past fifty years…at least. We are a socialist nation who spends our collective tax dollars on going to war or preventing war or perpetuating the idea of somebody going to war. War makes people rich…ask Dick Cheney.
Dick Cheney…a man who has made his fortune in the private sector running companies who’s profits are derived from the United States being in war. No war, no profits. Now can you understand why Dick is on TV selling national security to us? He is trying to stay in business. For the past eight years he has been a media-ghost of the vice presidency. No need to talk when profits are bombing (no I did not mean booming).
People hate the term socialist and they hate the idea of government-run business. I get that I am a business man. I do not want the government telling me what and who to photograph. I hate the capitalistic business of war. I hate war. I hate that my tax dollars help to make Dick Cheney richer.
Here is the part where this rant develops into a dream…stop going to war. If we stop going to war every other decade and keep the tax structure the way it currently is we could have healthcare and education for all. That’s right. Our government tax structure could remain in tact. If taxes do not go up I bet you people will not care how our government is labeled.
I like capitalism especially when people with capital care about society.
p.s. – The opening sentence in the constitution is “We the people”, it is not I the person. I hope that those of you who wish to criticize this rant do so. Please refrain from quoting Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity or Glen Beck; they are entertainers not journalists, nor academics. They claim to be good Americans yet they do not claim to be good human beings.
p.s.s – If you really hate socialism what you can do as an individual is refuse social security and Medicare when you retire. I bet the drug addicted, heart patient Limbaugh will accept that gift from government.
This Stuff Can Not Be Made Up
Last night I was driving behind a mini-van on my way to the gym (of course it is always a mini-van). The driver had to come to a complete stop every time they had to use their turn signal, EVERY TIME on a two lane road.
It took me an extra 15 min to get to the gym, but no road rage at all…it was just too damn funny to get upset over.
At the gym I am swimming laps. Standing on the edge of the pool is a very large man in a tiny blue Speedo swimsuit. Yes, eye-scaring but also it was quite impressive to see how far that tiny blue Speedo fabric can stretch.
At this point I am about 15 minutes into swimming laps and the large man in the tiny blue Speedo standing on the edge of pool is starting to stretch…yoga-pose-type of stretching. I start screaming in my head “please God make it so I do not look”. My prayers were not answered. I looked and more eye-scaring images burnt into my head.
Next - large man in a tiny blue Speedo swimsuit Jr. comes out of the locker room in matching tiny blue Speedo. Now I am hearing circus music in my head. The Mini-me lad meets his Dad at the edge of the pool and they start dancing like Irish Leprechauns.
Ok – the Leprechaun part is made up but everything else happened.
It took me an extra 15 min to get to the gym, but no road rage at all…it was just too damn funny to get upset over.
At the gym I am swimming laps. Standing on the edge of the pool is a very large man in a tiny blue Speedo swimsuit. Yes, eye-scaring but also it was quite impressive to see how far that tiny blue Speedo fabric can stretch.
At this point I am about 15 minutes into swimming laps and the large man in the tiny blue Speedo standing on the edge of pool is starting to stretch…yoga-pose-type of stretching. I start screaming in my head “please God make it so I do not look”. My prayers were not answered. I looked and more eye-scaring images burnt into my head.
Next - large man in a tiny blue Speedo swimsuit Jr. comes out of the locker room in matching tiny blue Speedo. Now I am hearing circus music in my head. The Mini-me lad meets his Dad at the edge of the pool and they start dancing like Irish Leprechauns.
Ok – the Leprechaun part is made up but everything else happened.
This Stuff Can Not Be Made Up
Last night I was driving behind a mini-van on my way to the gym (of course it is always a mini-van). The driver had to come to a complete stop every time they had to use their turn signal, EVERY TIME on a two lane road.
It took me an extra 15 min to get to the gym, but no road rage at all…it was just too damn funny to get upset over.
At the gym I am swimming laps. Standing on the edge of the pool is a very large man in a tiny blue Speedo swimsuit. Yes, eye-scaring but also it was quite impressive to see how far that tiny blue Speedo fabric can stretch.
At this point I am about 15 minutes into swimming laps and the large man in the tiny blue Speedo standing on the edge of pool is starting to stretch…yoga-pose-type of stretching. I start screaming in my head “please God make it so I do not look”. My prayers were not answered. I looked and more eye-scaring images burnt into my head.
Next - large man in a tiny blue Speedo swimsuit Jr. comes out of the locker room in matching tiny blue Speedo. Now I am hearing circus music in my head. The Mini-me lad meets his Dad at the edge of the pool and they start dancing like Irish Leprechauns.
Ok – the Leprechaun part is made up but everything else happened.
It took me an extra 15 min to get to the gym, but no road rage at all…it was just too damn funny to get upset over.
At the gym I am swimming laps. Standing on the edge of the pool is a very large man in a tiny blue Speedo swimsuit. Yes, eye-scaring but also it was quite impressive to see how far that tiny blue Speedo fabric can stretch.
At this point I am about 15 minutes into swimming laps and the large man in the tiny blue Speedo standing on the edge of pool is starting to stretch…yoga-pose-type of stretching. I start screaming in my head “please God make it so I do not look”. My prayers were not answered. I looked and more eye-scaring images burnt into my head.
Next - large man in a tiny blue Speedo swimsuit Jr. comes out of the locker room in matching tiny blue Speedo. Now I am hearing circus music in my head. The Mini-me lad meets his Dad at the edge of the pool and they start dancing like Irish Leprechauns.
Ok – the Leprechaun part is made up but everything else happened.
The letter “P” must die
The predicament with having a purpose in life is that it has to be attached to a problem for the purpose to be purposeful. What is practical about having a purpose if the only purpose is to point out a problem?
Answer: To persuade people to your perspective on the problem actually having a purposeful point in solving.
Sounds political so far, are you perplexed at this particular point?
My personal puzzlement is that I like pizza. If you want to eat pizza with pepperoni, pigs got to die. In principal I prefer things not to have to pass away to get on my dinner plate.
The purpose in solving my problem is; is it practical to kill all “P” to persuade you that my perspective is correct on getting pepperoni on my plate?
The letter “P” must die –goodbye to
Paris, Poinsettias, Poppies, Pasta, Peanut Butter, Pontiac, Porsche, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Peru, Poland, Pakistan, Palestine, Pens, pencils ….plea your case if you want me to ponder this predicament while I eat this plate that has been properly placed in front of face.
The letter “P” must die
The predicament with having a purpose in life is that it has to be attached to a problem for the purpose to be purposeful. What is practical about having a purpose if the only purpose is to point out a problem?
Answer: To persuade people to your perspective on the problem actually having a purposeful point in solving.
Sounds political so far, are you perplexed at this particular point?
My personal puzzlement is that I like pizza. If you want to eat pizza with pepperoni, pigs got to die. In principal I prefer things not to have to pass away to get on my dinner plate.
The purpose in solving my problem is; is it practical to kill all “P” to persuade you that my perspective is correct on getting pepperoni on my plate?
The letter “P” must die –goodbye to
Paris, Poinsettias, Poppies, Pasta, Peanut Butter, Pontiac, Porsche, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Peru, Poland, Pakistan, Palestine, Pens, pencils ….plea your case if you want me to ponder this predicament while I eat this plate that has been properly placed in front of face.
RANT
America is waking up again as every generation has an opportunity to change the world, yet again.
“If there is a hard, high wall and an egg that breaks against it, no matter how right the wall or how wrong the egg, I will stand on the side of the egg.” - Haruki Murakami
As I write this there is a crowd gathered that is picketing and protesting the legalization of gay marriage, women rights to choose and other random thing that should be left to the individual to select... 2,103 verses in the bible on serving the poor and less fortunate and they pick the 4 vague sentences to stage a protest.
Wonder how many homeless people they passed on their way to the protest.
Simplification postponed due to instability issues…
“If there is a hard, high wall and an egg that breaks against it, no matter how right the wall or how wrong the egg, I will stand on the side of the egg.” - Haruki Murakami
As I write this there is a crowd gathered that is picketing and protesting the legalization of gay marriage, women rights to choose and other random thing that should be left to the individual to select... 2,103 verses in the bible on serving the poor and less fortunate and they pick the 4 vague sentences to stage a protest.
Wonder how many homeless people they passed on their way to the protest.
Simplification postponed due to instability issues…
RANT
America is waking up again as every generation has an opportunity to change the world, yet again.
“If there is a hard, high wall and an egg that breaks against it, no matter how right the wall or how wrong the egg, I will stand on the side of the egg.” - Haruki Murakami
As I write this there is a crowd gathered that is picketing and protesting the legalization of gay marriage, women rights to choose and other random thing that should be left to the individual to select... 2,103 verses in the bible on serving the poor and less fortunate and they pick the 4 vague sentences to stage a protest.
Wonder how many homeless people they passed on their way to the protest.
Simplification postponed due to instability issues…
“If there is a hard, high wall and an egg that breaks against it, no matter how right the wall or how wrong the egg, I will stand on the side of the egg.” - Haruki Murakami
As I write this there is a crowd gathered that is picketing and protesting the legalization of gay marriage, women rights to choose and other random thing that should be left to the individual to select... 2,103 verses in the bible on serving the poor and less fortunate and they pick the 4 vague sentences to stage a protest.
Wonder how many homeless people they passed on their way to the protest.
Simplification postponed due to instability issues…
This Stuff Can’t be Made Up
Phone call from my wife:
Me: Hi Baby
Wife: Hello love – I just had to call you…you will never believe what I just saw.
Me: Asteroid?
Wife: No
Me: Bigfoot?
Wife: Shut up and listen!!!
Me: Ok
Wife: The bumper sticker on the vehicle in front of me reads “Save the planet; it’s the only one we got.”
Me: Nice!!!!
Wife: Don’t interrupt.
Me: Ok
Wife: The woman is driving an SUV and just tossed a cigarette butt out the window.
Me: Did you call Al Gore?
Wife: Shut up…I don’t have Al Gore’s phone number and quit asking.
Me: Is she eating a pop-tart??? Please tell me she is eating a pop-tart while making a cell phone call???
Wife: Shut up
Me: Love you
Wife: Me too, gotta go…
Me: Hi Baby
Wife: Hello love – I just had to call you…you will never believe what I just saw.
Me: Asteroid?
Wife: No
Me: Bigfoot?
Wife: Shut up and listen!!!
Me: Ok
Wife: The bumper sticker on the vehicle in front of me reads “Save the planet; it’s the only one we got.”
Me: Nice!!!!
Wife: Don’t interrupt.
Me: Ok
Wife: The woman is driving an SUV and just tossed a cigarette butt out the window.
Me: Did you call Al Gore?
Wife: Shut up…I don’t have Al Gore’s phone number and quit asking.
Me: Is she eating a pop-tart??? Please tell me she is eating a pop-tart while making a cell phone call???
Wife: Shut up
Me: Love you
Wife: Me too, gotta go…
This Stuff Can’t be Made Up
Phone call from my wife:
Me: Hi Baby
Wife: Hello love – I just had to call you…you will never believe what I just saw.
Me: Asteroid?
Wife: No
Me: Bigfoot?
Wife: Shut up and listen!!!
Me: Ok
Wife: The bumper sticker on the vehicle in front of me reads “Save the planet; it’s the only one we got.”
Me: Nice!!!!
Wife: Don’t interrupt.
Me: Ok
Wife: The woman is driving an SUV and just tossed a cigarette butt out the window.
Me: Did you call Al Gore?
Wife: Shut up…I don’t have Al Gore’s phone number and quit asking.
Me: Is she eating a pop-tart??? Please tell me she is eating a pop-tart while making a cell phone call???
Wife: Shut up
Me: Love you
Wife: Me too, gotta go…
Me: Hi Baby
Wife: Hello love – I just had to call you…you will never believe what I just saw.
Me: Asteroid?
Wife: No
Me: Bigfoot?
Wife: Shut up and listen!!!
Me: Ok
Wife: The bumper sticker on the vehicle in front of me reads “Save the planet; it’s the only one we got.”
Me: Nice!!!!
Wife: Don’t interrupt.
Me: Ok
Wife: The woman is driving an SUV and just tossed a cigarette butt out the window.
Me: Did you call Al Gore?
Wife: Shut up…I don’t have Al Gore’s phone number and quit asking.
Me: Is she eating a pop-tart??? Please tell me she is eating a pop-tart while making a cell phone call???
Wife: Shut up
Me: Love you
Wife: Me too, gotta go…
I’m Number 51, AGAIN
I’m angry, it happened again…fifth year in a row; I’m number 51. People magazine just listed 2008’s fifty sexiest men alive. They never print, publish, promote or publicize number 51. Just an Oh-So-Close e-mail, yet again. Then I noticed that most of the men are members of the cult (oops) club (oops) church of Scientology, check out this list. At this point I can no longer stand being number 51. As of this moment I dedicate my ego and all my good-lookingness to the cult/club/church of Scientology. Move over Oprah, I’m jumping on your sofa.
Good reasons to become a Sciencetologist:
- They don’t go to war
- They only accept beautiful people
- You become automatically rich through osmosis or by the company you keep, or something like that.
- Tax exempt status – that’s why they only accept the rich
- Jenna Elfman (she’s pretty)
- Done the Christian/ Buddhist thing: Service to others, practice forgiveness, mindful of my actions, and I suffered. That is so two thousand year ago.
- Get to be immortal. Come on, that’s just cool.
- Story of Xenu is better than Star Wars.
- Sciencetologist lawyers kick ass
- South Park dedicated a full episode to satirizing Scientology – this only happens to famous and successful people. When’s the last time anybody satirized the Presbyterians?
- If Kurt Vonnegut would have conceived the idea of Scientology instead of L. Ron Hubbard nobody would have a problem with it.
Good reasons to become a Sciencetologist:
- They don’t go to war
- They only accept beautiful people
- You become automatically rich through osmosis or by the company you keep, or something like that.
- Tax exempt status – that’s why they only accept the rich
- Jenna Elfman (she’s pretty)
- Done the Christian/ Buddhist thing: Service to others, practice forgiveness, mindful of my actions, and I suffered. That is so two thousand year ago.
- Get to be immortal. Come on, that’s just cool.
- Story of Xenu is better than Star Wars.
- Sciencetologist lawyers kick ass
- South Park dedicated a full episode to satirizing Scientology – this only happens to famous and successful people. When’s the last time anybody satirized the Presbyterians?
- If Kurt Vonnegut would have conceived the idea of Scientology instead of L. Ron Hubbard nobody would have a problem with it.
I’m Number 51, AGAIN
I’m angry, it happened again…fifth year in a row; I’m number 51. People magazine just listed 2008’s fifty sexiest men alive. They never print, publish, promote or publicize number 51. Just an Oh-So-Close e-mail, yet again. Then I noticed that most of the men are members of the cult (oops) club (oops) church of Scientology, check out this list. At this point I can no longer stand being number 51. As of this moment I dedicate my ego and all my good-lookingness to the cult/club/church of Scientology. Move over Oprah, I’m jumping on your sofa.
Good reasons to become a Sciencetologist:
- They don’t go to war
- They only accept beautiful people
- You become automatically rich through osmosis or by the company you keep, or something like that.
- Tax exempt status – that’s why they only accept the rich
- Jenna Elfman (she’s pretty)
- Done the Christian/ Buddhist thing: Service to others, practice forgiveness, mindful of my actions, and I suffered. That is so two thousand year ago.
- Get to be immortal. Come on, that’s just cool.
- Story of Xenu is better than Star Wars.
- Sciencetologist lawyers kick ass
- South Park dedicated a full episode to satirizing Scientology – this only happens to famous and successful people. When’s the last time anybody satirized the Presbyterians?
- If Kurt Vonnegut would have conceived the idea of Scientology instead of L. Ron Hubbard nobody would have a problem with it.
Good reasons to become a Sciencetologist:
- They don’t go to war
- They only accept beautiful people
- You become automatically rich through osmosis or by the company you keep, or something like that.
- Tax exempt status – that’s why they only accept the rich
- Jenna Elfman (she’s pretty)
- Done the Christian/ Buddhist thing: Service to others, practice forgiveness, mindful of my actions, and I suffered. That is so two thousand year ago.
- Get to be immortal. Come on, that’s just cool.
- Story of Xenu is better than Star Wars.
- Sciencetologist lawyers kick ass
- South Park dedicated a full episode to satirizing Scientology – this only happens to famous and successful people. When’s the last time anybody satirized the Presbyterians?
- If Kurt Vonnegut would have conceived the idea of Scientology instead of L. Ron Hubbard nobody would have a problem with it.
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